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I Would Love To

I would love to

I would love to, but it does not happen. Have you heard that sentence before? I would love to have a romantic partner, but it does not happen. I would love to get a promotion but it does not happen.

Guess what. Yes, you guessed right. It just won’t happen.

Take a Chance

Imagine you are sitting in a nice Italian restaurant and after you have finished your meal you do not get your espresso. I would love to get my espresso, but it does not happen. Of course, it does not happen. You have to ask for it and the waiter will be happy to bring it to you.

There is this joke where a man prayed every night to win the lottery but it never happened. Then, after years of desperation, the man finished his prayer when he heard a voice: “Come on, give me a chance, please buy a lottery ticket.”

If you have a goal, you need to do something for it. Sometimes it is easy and you just need to ask for it. Sometimes it is harder, for example even if you buy a lottery ticket chances are not too good to actually win the jackpot.

Are You a Passenger or Driver?

Where are you sitting on the bus? Are you a passenger or are you the driver? As a side note, the bus is just a metaphor for your life here.

If you wrote a novel, would you be the hero or would you be a person sitting in a restaurant somewhere on page 45, waiting for an espresso. You probably imagine yourself more like the hero.

Your life is your story. It is your novel. You write it. That means you are in control. Of course, not everything will go smoothly. That is the nature of superheroes. There will be some villains and there will be a few obstacles.

What would you do if you were the superhero in your novel?

But There Is a Risk

Yes, there is a risk involved. And yes, it would be great if – like in some superhero novels – we could just say: “So what?” but that is not the point. Risks are there and, well, they are risky. Of course it would be nice if we could achieve our goals all risk free, but this is not realistic.

When it comes to risks there are two important points. Okay, maybe more, but let’s start with two here.

  1. What is the actual risk?

Quite often the actual risk is much lower than our fears might tell us. Imagine a situation where you see that special person over there but you are just too shy to approach her and ask her out. What is the worst thing that can realistically happen? She can say No. OK, so what?

The situation is similar when asking for a promotion or for a raise.

So, think about how high the risk really is. What is the worst thing that could possibly happen? And what would you do in this case?

2 What is the risk involved in the alternative?

What is the alternative? The alternative is to do nothing and the risk of not taking the chance is often much higher. If you never take the chance of asking someone out or going on a date you might end up staying single for your entire life. If this is what you want, fine. But, if your goal is to have a romantic partner and a family, chances are you will have regrets at the end of your life.

Same for the promotion, you might end up working in a position you hate for a payment much lower your value and expectations. Wouldn’t this be a higher risk?

The Time Trap

Just as dangerous as “I would love to but it does not happen” is “I would love to and it will happen sometime”. The good thing is that there is at least some hope. The bad thing is that you probably won’t take any action because there is no deadline or pressure. The ugly thing is that most likely it will not just happen sometime and when you recognize this it’s too late and all that is left is regret and a thought like “if I only …”

See the Opportunity

We just talked about the risk here but of course it is important to see the opportunity as well. In fact, this is what your goal is all about. Keep an eye on your goal. It is worth it and it is hopefully worth all the risks and effort involved. This is your only chance to take control of your life and to lead a more fulfilled life.

Do you need some help with your goals? It is often easier when we have help. Our free VidaGoals app for Android can help you with finding and setting your goals. You can also find more information about goal setting in our free goal-setting eBook.

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